Me? No....

No more smoke screens or pretty words. I really am on the verge of something huge but if I don't stop filtering myself I'm going to just fall back into the same routines.

Why can't I be perfect? No, seriously. Why haven't I ever considered perfection? I know all of the cliche filled facts. "Nobody's perfect" "There are beauty in imperfections" blah blah. Duh. I can't believe that I have found so much comfort & beauty in all of my cracks that I have almost accepted my imperfections. I'm a writer, I'm an artist- I'm not going to lose my understanding of human nature, demons & victories, weaknesses & defeat. To pursue perfection isn't to become a robot it's to become as above reproach as possible. I have been aware of my self journey for several years now- though it took a bit of a sabbatical what I learned before was extremely valuable. What I am learning now has been extremely hard to decipher & accept. "There is no way that's me" I think. "I'm compassionate to a fault" I say. "I'm not judgement!". To each their conditions. I have found a bit of abrasives in my personality & before I would sweep this under- well just with my family because they are crazy. But, wait.. why does such strong personality traits have to be negative? Since when did JUST compassion & humility become the only thing beautiful? That's Christian upbringing for ya. It's on. Perfection is my new obsession. Still writing a love story with my soul- just finally found the fighter.